


blue skies above

by Ford_Ye_Fiji



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beau curses bc that’s what she does, Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt Caleb Widogast, Hurt/Comfort, I only just finished episode forty so no spoilers please, Protective Nott (Critical Role), SHE IS A MOTHER, Sick Caleb Widogast, THAT IS HER SON, and knows my heart, oh whoever made all of these tags a thing can read my mind, widojest if you tilt your head and squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:33:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24643381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji
Summary: Caleb gets sick, basically, and gets the love he deserves despite his best efforts.
Relationships: Caleb Widogast & Everyone
Comments: 16
Kudos: 233





	blue skies above

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for critical role!!! It’s so exciting but also I’m super nervous!!!

Caleb first really noticed feeling abnormal that morning, as he woke. His head ached and for a singular terrifying moment, he didn’t know what time it was. However, as his brow furrowed the time came to him, six twenty-seven in the morning, and if he really wanted to be accurate- exactly six twenty-seven and thirty-nine seconds, forty, forty-one... his half panicked breaths calmed as he counted out the seconds in his head. He opened his eyes to take stock of his situation when his internal clock hit precisely six twenty-eight in the morning.

His head ached dully, throbbing just behind his eyes. He blinked carefully, wincing against the dull glow of the sun just cresting the horizon. He twitched his fingers, glancing over the smoldering coals of their campfire, taking in the bundles and lumps of their little troop. Nott was pressed against his legs, head burrowed into the side of his chest, legs akimbo, one hand curled into the frayed ends of his coat.

His movements hadn’t awoken her thankfully. 

Frumpkin had burrowed into the folds of his coat, pressed against his chest, warm and soft. The cat opened one lazy eye at his awakening. Caleb absentmindedly reached a hand up to scratch his familiar's ears, and was awarded by his familiar’s soft low purring.

Next he saw folds of blue and brown, Beau, flopped backwards and snoring loudly against the ground, her legs tangled with Jester's whose head rested on Fjord's knee. He had no idea how they found that position at all comfortable but, he supposed, that tracked since they were comfortable with a lot of things that he wasn’t.

(Mostly touching and wild displays of affection and referring to their little group as a family which was a concept he wasn’t quite ready for just yet. The last family he’d had, after all had.... well. It had not ended well for them. The last thing he wanted was for the Nein to reap the prices of claiming  _him_ as  _family_.)

Beyond the fire, he saw a broad back of pink and white and green which was undoubtedly their newest arrival, Caduceus, left with the last watch. 

Caleb laid still, till he estimated it was about six thirty-six and he definitely wasn’t going to fall back asleep before carefully extracting himself from Nott's grasp. Nott murmured slightly, muttering something in her sleep about trinkets before turning over and resuming drooling on her bedroll.

He couldn’t help the slight twitch of his lips, mouth curving upwards into a fond smile. He stroked her hair softly and then turned to make his way towards Caduceus carefully.

The firbolg lifted his head in greeting, eyes heavy and low, smile radiating a general warmth, "Good morning."

Caleb sat down next to him, voice still thick with sleep, "Hallo, guten morgen." He turned, trying to shake away the fuzziness clouding his mind and following Caduceus's gaze towards the hills and the horizon and a red morning sun turning the clouds pink and orange and the darkened sky to scarlet.

Caduceus nodded, humming slightly in response.

Caleb... Caleb liked Caduceus, well, as much as he could without knowing him well. He was solemn and strange and quiet. His quietness, however, was the sort of silence where you didn’t feel the need to fill the emptiness with words. Caleb's awkwardness bounced harmlessly off of Caduceus's serene shiny green armor as if it had no effect in the slightest. It almost made Caleb feel normal. The firbolg just radiated peace. A peace Caleb had not had in a long time, or ever truly had at all.

As the sun rose, burning gold, casting the sky in shades of red, Caleb heard shuffling behind them as another seemed to wake.

A few moments later, Fjord sat next to them still bleary eyed, accent thicker in the early dawn hours, "Good morning."

Caduceus spoke nearly silent, "Good morning, Fjord." 

Caleb ventured carefully after a moment, feeling the creeping need to say something at another's arrival, "The sunrise is very pretty today."

Fjord nodded, voice gruff from the morning air, "Yeah. It sure is. We'd best be careful though. There’s a storm coming."

Caduceus hummed, "Indeed there is."

Caleb raised an eyebrow, "How do you know? Not that I think you are wrong..."

Fjord shrugged, "Well I knew because it’s an old saying we used to have. Us sailors, I mean. Red sky at night, sailors' delight. Red sky at morning, sailors' take warning." He gestured at the burning scarlet sky now slowly melting away into blue as the sun rose higher.

Caduceus chuckled, "That’s really rather clever. I could just smell it on the wind. The water in the air."

Caleb looked towards the sun as Caduceus finished, "A storm is coming and with it come the winds of change." 

The pulsing in his temples only worsened.

* * *

Caleb sat in the back of the inviso-cart, as Jester had dubbed it, desperately trying to concentrate on his book. However, as the sun climbed higher, he grew hotter, and the words on the book seemed to blur together.

He rubbed his forehead wearily, reading the same section of the book for the third time. His head ached and he couldn’t remember a word on the page and that was the worst of it. He always remembered what he read.

He set the book down, breathing through his nose and hoping that the panic clawing at his chest would settle down, along with the burning in his skin. Nott looked up from where she was poring over her acid kit, brow furrowed, "Are you alright, Caleb?"

"Ah, ja, ja. I am fine." He scrubbed his face, "Just tired. I did not sleep well. That’s all."

Nott seemed to eye him distrustfully for a moment before shrugging and returning her attention to her kit. Jester leaned over her half painted page, which was coming along rather impressively considering the jostling of the cart, " _Caleeeeb_ ," she drew out the a's and e's of his name in that both endearing and irritating way of hers, "Are you sleepy? Do you need me to sing to you? I’m not quite as good as my mother but I can try!"

"Ah, no. No, thank you. I am not sleepy. Just tired."

Jester frowned, "That’s the same thing, Caleb!" 

Beau nodded from where she sat folded, examining the abused ends of her quarterstaff, "No, he’s right actually, there’s a difference."

Jester pouted before turning and poking Fjord in the back. Fjord turned from his seat in the front next to Caduceus who adjusted his straw hat as he clucked to the horses to trot onwards, "What? Does someone need something?"

Jester abruptly poked her head out of the illusion of the crates, and Caleb heard the clatter of armor as Fjord startled, his exclamation of surprise cut off as Jester shouted, "Is there a difference between sleepy and tired, Fjord?"

Caleb shook his head and wriggled out of his coat in an effort to stave off the heat. 

Nott eyed him worriedly but remained quiet.

* * *

Caleb opened his eyes, grimacing against the noonday sun, and, what felt to be a thick summer heat pressing down on him. He hadn’t even remembered falling asleep. He tried to lift his head, but everything felt heavy and hot and while his muscles seemed to tighten in response, he went nowhere. His whole world seemed to be swaying sickeningly, stomach aching with each jostle.

There was a poke in his side and he dimly registered Jester saying, "He's still sleeping, Nott!" 

He grunted, brow furrowing, pressing his lips firmly together in the hopes that that would quell the unease growing in his belly. Another poke and then Jester, too loud and sharp, "Wait, I think he’s waking up!"

He felt hands on his coat, pulling him upwards, "Caleb!  _Caaaaaleeeeb_ it’s time to wake up! We're stopping for fooood!" 

The movement was too much. He turned and, blindly pushing out, calloused fingers wrapped around the wooden splintered side of the wagon as he heaved himself up and over, throwing up over the side of the cart.

He heard Jester's cry of disgust and shock and Nott's distressed, "Caleb!"

His stomach finally finished heaving, his deep gagging persisting just a little longer afterwards before finally the terrible hacking noise he’d been making ceased.

He coughed, once, twice, grimacing at the acidic aftertaste of stomach bile. He blinked in the sun and the heat, "I- I do not feel well." 

He nodded once and then fell backwards into blessed darkness.

* * *

Jester gaped, voice cracking with distress as she found herself with an armful of unconscious wizard, "Guys I do not think Caleb is well at all! What do we do?"

Fjord clambered over the back of the cart to join her, “Well check his forehead, Jester! What’s his temperature like, is he hot?"

Jester pulled Caleb up against her, trying to get him in a more comfortable position as his sweat-stained head lolled against her shoulder, "I- I don’t know if I would say he’s  _hot_ exactly- I mean maybe if he took a bath he’d look nicer and you know I guess he was rather attractive after he took that bath that one time in Zadash but I don’t really  _know_ - why is this _relevant_ right now, Fjord?"

Fjord raised an eyebrow, "I meant his temperature, Jester." He reached out his head to press it against Caleb's forehead.

Nott scrabbled up the edge of the cart, "What are you talking about Jester? Caleb is the most attractive person in this entire group! Except besides _maybe_ Fjord. _Maybe_." She padded up beside both of them to peer worriedly at Caleb, "Is he alright, Fjord?"

Beau piped up from where she came around the cart, "I think Yasha is pretty cool." She glanced down and grimaced at the vomit, "Ugh. Yeah we're moving camp I’m not sleeping near here."

Fjord shook his head, "Ya'll now is  _not_ the time. Caleb is burning up."

Beau snickered, "Ironic."

Nott glared at her.

Jester clucked her tongue, "I don’t think I have any healing spells that deal with disease? Caduceus do you have anything?"

Caduceus had been mostly silent for this exchange, eyes tracking their movements carefully. Caduceus shook his head, "No, I’m afraid I don’t believe so. I can look for herbs and I can grow teas that might help, but I do not know any such spells that specialize in disease."

Jester wrinkled her nose, "Oh. We really need to do something about that. What if one of us, like, gets  _really_ sick?"

Nott snapped, "Isn’t that what’s happening  _now? _ Let me see him-“ the small goblin crawled over Jester's and Caleb's intertwined legs, little fists and sharp nails digging into his coat as she crawled up, finally settling on Caleb's stomach. She poked Caleb's scruffy dirty cheek, before frowning and picking up an eyelid curiously, "Oh he’s out. He’s really out." She looked up at Jester, dark brows furrowed in worry, liquid yellow eyes wide with fear, "Are you sure you don’t have anything for him?"

Jester's eyes softened with compassion and distress, "Oh Nott. I don’t think so, but for our wizard and your boy I can certainly try." She raised her eyes skyward, pressed her blue fingers to Caleb's damp forehead, red strands of hair slick with sweat, and muttered a few words of prayer to the Traveler.

Her fingers glowed and Nott held her breath as she waited hopefully for Caleb to open his sky blue eyes and shake himself and turn red with embarrassment when he saw how Jester cradled him against his shoulder and the looks of concern on all his friend's faces.

The glow dissipated, and Caleb remained motionless.

Beau winced, "Ah that’s probably not good."

Jester chewed on her lower lip, "Shit. Shit shit shit. It didn’t work. Maybe a healing potion?"

Nott nodded and scurried over to her bag. Fjord spoke up, "Ah, Nott wait a moment before you do that-“

Nott lifted her head, defensive fury in every sharp tensing of her body as she hissed, "Caleb is sick, Fjord! He needs healing!"

Fjord's face softened. Healing potions were for emergencies, for when Caduceus and Jester were out of action, for when they had no other options. He knew he wasn’t being unreasonable in asking her to wait, but the way Caleb held so still and the almost heartbreaking anger of a mother in Nott had him say instead, "Nott, I was going to say you’re going to need help with giving him that."

Nott's hunched shoulders fell, "O- oh. Sorry Fjord." 

"It’s alright." He held out his hand for the potion, "C'mon. Let’s see what we can do for  our wizard."

Jester giggled, "Our stinky  _smelly_ wizard."

Beau leaned over the edge of the cart, peering at the four of them, "Our stinky awkward  _asshole_ wizard."

Nott grumbled almost plaintively, "He doesn't  _stink._ He smells wonderful for a goblin. If anything  _you’re_ the smelly ones, always stinking of flowers and- and  _fruits_." She wrinkled her nose as if that was a bad thing.

Caduceus smiled softly at Nott, because even if he hadn’t been with the Mighty Nein long he was already a little fond of their dysfunctional group, "I think they were trying to put the emphasis on _our_ wizard."

Nott huffed but clambered over to Caleb. She poured a little of it in, hoping, waiting for instinct to do the next thing. For a moment, it seemed to work, the dull red of the potion disappearing into Caleb's mouth, throat bobbing as he swallowed automatically. 

And then he convulsed and Nott fell backwards as he retched, the familiar comforting red of the potion no longer comforting as it came back up in an unsettling parody of blood, drenching both him, Nott, and the hapless Jester, who gagged, "Oh ewww, gross! Caleb, that was supposed to help you!"

Caleb didn’t answer as he slumped forward, motionless.

It was then, that the Mighty Nein began to feel afraid. 

* * *

Beau stared at the campfire, gnawing on her lower lip with worry. For the first time in a while they all slept out in the open air, no alarm and no magical hut to keep them safe. She didn’t have to say it but she could feel the restlessness in the night air. They probably weren’t going to sleep tonight.

They had set a faster pace once their healing seemed to take no effect, but even with their increased speed, the nearest town was still a few days away. Just as they’d thought perhaps it was time to make camp, as the evening sun crested the horizon, Caleb began to shiver. His teeth had begun to chatter and his wild convulsing had nearly sent Nott with her smaller stature tumbling out of the cart. 

They’d pushed onwards, at least till full dark when the exhaustion began to pull at their bones. And still Beau couldn’t sleep. She kept watch instead next to Caleb's feet, helpless and unable to lend aid except to stare into the darkness and hope that bandits would try to take them unawares so that she could take out some of her frustration onto them. 

Caduceus had gone, vanishing into the woods some time ago, the end of his staff glowing, murmuring something about tea and herbs and a possible medicine. Fjord sat by Caleb's head, keeping guard as well, the falchion in his hands, glowing in the firelight. His eyes were covered by shadow and his lips were thinned and grim. 

Nott curled around Caleb's legs in an almost heartbreaking display of affection, an arm thrown around him to keep him steady when he shivered too much for even the numerous blankets they’d piled onto him. 

Jester lay beside Caleb, staring up at the stars, muttering quietly to the sky, hands clasped around the symbol of the Traveler. Beau could only guess that the small blue tiefling was praying to her god in the hopes that he would help Caleb. 

Beau glared at the fire. 

And as bad as she thought it was now, she'd had no idea how bad it was going to get. 

It started slow. The stars gently twinkling in the skies above and then a voice she’d never admit that she was glad to hear, muttered quietly in Zemnian. Beau turned, eyes alight, mouth open with excitement, "Caleb?" 

Nott had sat up as well, Jester turning to look with a bright elation. Even Fjord's attention had been caught. Beau waited for the wizard to speak, to sit up, but Caleb only shifted, eyes still closed as wrinkles formed in his brow. Beads of sweat glittered in the firelight and lines of distress hardened around his mouth. He murmured again, low and soft and incomprehensible. 

Nott wilted. Jester's shoulders slumped. Even Fjord seemed crestfallen. 

Beau sighed, "Damn it."

Nott patted Caleb's shoulder sadly as he muttered and settled back in the lax crook of his arm. 

Beau stared for a moment longer, the firelight behind her outlining every sharp line and soft curve of her friends. Jester was cast in a shadow that was an even deeper blue than she usually was, Fjord's green cheekbones accentuated by the light, Nott's wide yellow eyes and shiny teeth glinted like a monster's features peering out of the darkness. Worse was Caleb, the light and shadow making the hollows in his cheeks more prominent and the bags under his eyes darker. His hair, even rumpled and dirty as it was was his most vibrant feature, it seemed to dance orange and red like flame from the flickering of the fire. She’d never noticed it before, but his beard was actually a red, deeper, but still auburn, his eyelashes a lighter red color, still against his dirty freckled cheeks. 

Beau sighed and ran a hand over her face. She wished Yasha were here. 

But no one had seen Yasha since Mollymauk's grave, and there was that twist in her. That dull ache clawing at her insides, that  _fear_... They had only just lost one of their party, and now... now she was suddenly scared they were going to lose another. And she didn’t think their group could handle it. Not now, not after Molly. 

She could see it, panic almost choking her at the thought. If Caleb died. Nott would leave, somehow, in some way. It was only a matter of time. In the night or after a few months, she would leave. The small goblin cared for them and saw them as family, but  _Caleb_ \- Caleb was more than that to her and she didn’t know if without him they would be enough to keep her. She didn’t know if Nott would cling to them or drift away in her grief. 

Jester was strong, impossibly strong- in spirit and in strength. But two deaths of their little band so close together might be big enough of a blow to break her spirit. That and the way Fjord was retreating into himself now worried her. She had a feeling his quiet and reserve would grow only more pronounced as time went on, and he and Jester might separate as they both grew apart. Caduceus hadn’t been with them long and while he seemed to be a good sort, she couldn’t see him keeping the group together after another such loss. As for herself, she would go off on her own as was her way. Following the paths she'd chosen from the monks, or, more likely, drowning herself in drink and fights and violence in the hopes that she’d forget about them, about herself, and about the Mighty Nein- and that part of it  _hurt_ because they wouldn’t even  _be_ the Mighty Nein if it wasn’t for Caleb. 

Beau crossed her arms, nails digging into her fists as she thought of Caleb's attempts to explain the joke every time someone wondered why they only had seven members instead of nine, the increasingly exasperated manner of his until he’d given up and resigned himself to saying that they were simply missing two at the moment.

He was an asshole who had himself wanted to abandon the group. She shouldn’t be this upset. But even she knew at this point that she was lying to herself. He’d said that many times, he’d had the opportunity many times, and yet when half their group was gone, he’d transformed into an actually halfway decent leader and come hell or high water, he’d helped get everyone back safe and sound.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice the other's agitation until there was a broken wail from the ground. Beau startled, fists at the ready, eyes wide, "What? What is it? What’s happening?"

Nott was flopped over Caleb's arms as he thrashed and she glowered up at Beau as if what was happening was self explanatory- which it was.

Beau scowled.

And then Caleb got a lucky hit in, and sprawled Nott head over heels. Nott coughed, wiping blood from her nose. Beau cursed, words almost inaudible next to Caleb's incomprehensible shouts, "Seriously?" 

She grabbed one of the wizard's flailing arms, gritting her teeth, "C'mon on man, get it together!" She managed to snatch the other hand, pinning them to his sides. Jester had bodily launched herself onto his kicking feet, holding them down almost too easily as he bucked. Fjord had stationed himself at Caleb's head, trying to keep him from hurting himself. He hissed, "He's still way too hot."

Beau was finding her task to be harder than she’d first thought as one of Caleb's hands slipped free, "Yeah, no shit Fjord!"

And then Caleb shouted a familiar set of words. Nott shrieked, "Wait, Caleb no! Beau move-!”

Beau had the sense to duck as a fire bolt went streaking over her shoulder into the tree line. Luckily, the earth was too damp to catch fire, especially from what was actually a rather weak blast from Caleb.

Beau turned back, seeing the blackened hand claw at the air, cries of distress in Caleb's mother tongue spilling from his lips. Beau snapped, " _Fuck_ this."

She tensed, waiting and then with a deadly precision struck Caleb. He fell limp almost immediately, like a puppet with its strings cut, muscles vibrating with a stunned tension. Nott blinked and then turned on Beauregard, voice shrill, "Why are you  _hitting_ him he’s sick!” 

"He's dangerous, Nott!"

Nott threw her arms up in the air, almost towering over Beau as the monk straddled Caleb, pinning his arms, "He's a _sick_ person! You don’t _hit_ sick people!"

Jester watched the argument, eyes wide.

Beau practically snarled, "He hurt you and he almost set me on fire!"

"I can handle a little nosebleed! He’s _my_ _ boy_ and you don’t get to hit him!"

Beau opened her mouth to argue more, but Fjord cut them both off with an almost jarringly loud, "Enough!"

All three of them jumped.

Fjord rubbed the bridge of his nose wearily, "Nott. Beau did the right thing. He’s not hurt, he’s only stunned. I know it hurts, but you know as well as I that we can’t afford to have Caleb setting us on fire. We're his only hope, Nott, and we can’t do that if we're dead."

Nott looked away, eyes dark.

The camp was almost eerily silent except for Caleb's muttering and weak cries of distress. Beau hung her head, "Look, Nott. We're all tired here. But we all care about Caleb."

Nott's hair hung in greasy strands around her face, obscuring her eyes. The monk could sense her disbelief from a mile away.

Beau grunted, looking up at the sky, "Yeah okay, I know that sounds like bullshit. We’ve all had our ups and downs. Especially with Caleb because he can be an asshole sometimes. I mean, we're all assholes.  _Fuck._ " She sighed, "Just... don’t act like you’re the only one hurting here. This- this isn’t easy. For any of us."

Nott remained silent and Beau felt the itch of discomfort crawling up her back. She could feel the weight of Fjord's stare on her and Jester's held breath as if she were waiting for something too.

Beau tried to remember what Nott had said that seeming age ago, "I know he’s your- he's... he's your boy. And that makes this all the harder. But he’s ours too now. He’s _family,_ okay? And we're going to fix this. And fix him." She almost choked on her next words, but she found as she said them that she meant them, wholly and completely, "We love Caleb. And we love you too, Nott. We want what’s best for you. But you have to trust us on this, okay?"

Beau looked up, and found herself facing Nott's suspicious yellow eyes. The goblin held her gaze for a moment before seemingly satisfied with what she found within them, "Okay."

Beau slumped, the effect of the conversation taking a clear toll on her, "Yeah. Good. Great. Good talk."

Jester sniffed, Beau could see now the water in her eyes, “Ohhhh Beauuuu that was so sweeet! You have to say it again for Caleb when he wakes up!"

Beau glared. Fjord smiled at them, and it was small but genuine, "That might not be a good idea, Jester. You know how sensitive Caleb is about those things."

Jester giggled, "You're right, he would probably turn red!" She gasped, "And- and you know how sometimes his ears turn pink sometimes when he is embarrassed? Or when someone says something nice about hiiim? Or when he’s awkwarrrd? Or really when anything happens, really? Yeah I bet that would happen if you told him, Beau. It would be really cute."

Beau huffed, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face, mostly saying her next words to placate the tiefling, "Yeah. Sure Jester. I’ll tell him when he wakes up."

Nott sat down and took Caleb's hand as their wizard began to murmur again.

Beau sighed.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Nott bent over Caleb, his head in her lap, "Guys, I think he’s coming to!"

Beau looked up, eyes wide, "Really?”

Jester scrambled over, dropping her halfhearted drawing of Frumpkin onto the grass. Fjord jolted from where he’d been falling asleep by the fire, "...Wha? Hm? Who?" 

Jester shushed him, "Not now Fjord! You’ll talk over Caleb!"

Fjord's eyes widened and he too, gathered around the unconscious wizard.

They held their breath as Caleb's brow furrowed deeper and then his eyelids twitched before fluttering open, revealing confused glassy blue eyes. His breath hitched, voice hoarse and cracked from use, "N- Nott?" 

Nott smiled widely, "Caleb! You- you know who I am?"

He frowned at the noise, and Jester could see the sweat beading on his forehead and she knew suddenly, that he was not really back with them, "Ohhh... everything, everything is burning, Nott. W- why...?"

"Nothing is on fire...?" Nott patted the sides of his head, "You’ll be alright Caleb, we'll make you well again, we'll fix you." Her smile was decidedly wobbly, "It’s just a fever. You’ll be alright again."

Caleb sagged, and he truly wasn’t quite with reality as he shivered and sweat, eyes staring off into the distance, "It’s so hot. It’s so hot. Everything is burning. Just like before."

"No, no, Caleb, everything is fine!"

His eyes focused on Nott's again, "Did I do this?"

Beau winced. Jester didn’t know what that meant, but there seemed to be some meaning both Nott and Beau got out of Caleb's fevered ramblings that she didn’t. She didn’t like it when they kept secrets from her, but now was not the time to pursue that line of questioning. That and Fjord also looked confused so she wasn’t the only one out of the loop.

Nott shook her head vehemently, "No, Caleb. You didn’t do this. You aren’t responsible for this, you hear me? This wasn’t your fault."

Caleb's forehead softened, suddenly looking so young with his wrinkles smoothed out, as in a moment of true clarity, the first one Jester has seen since he’d gotten sick, he said, "Oh, mein schatz. Just let me die, I’m not worth it."

Nott choked and then hissed, "Don’t ever say that to me again, Caleb. I’m not letting you die, you hear me? And- and you  _are_ worth it- I- I fought a manticore for you once and I'd do it again right now if it meant you’d get better!"

Caleb didn’t seem to hear her, eyes already drifting off again, squinting at something in the distance as the fever took hold.

Jester swallowed past the lump in her throat as he seemed to struggle to come back to himself.

Caleb blinked, confused, "Why- why are you crying, liebling?"

Nott shook her head, "I’m not. I’m just- I’m just really sweaty." She wiped her eyes, "You’re worth it, you know that Caleb? You really are."

He blinked, a shaky hand reaching up to her face, drifting away from them once more, "Mutter, bist du das?"

Nott closed her eyes and sighed, taking the hand, "I’m here, Caleb."

The wizard hummed, completely unaware as he drifted on in the throes of sickness.

* * *

Fjord estimated it was sometime in the early morning hours that Caduceus returned with tea and herbs and a very deep weariness about him. Fjord could only make a rough estimate considering that their timekeeper lay unconscious next to them. Or mostly unconscious.

After Caleb's very brief and disturbing moment of lucidity, he’d drifted back under and then deteriorated very rapidly again, the shakes taking hold with a terrible violence. When the shivers finally passed, the nightmares began again and with them came more convulsions.

He and Jester kept watch as Beau waited, poised to make another stunning strike even as Caleb's limbs trembled, still paralyzed from the last hit. Nott held his head, stroking his hair and murmuring quiet nothings to him as he thrashed, screaming and crying out. Sometimes in Zemnian, sometimes in common, and always begging. For his mother and father, for death, for the fire to stop, for the burning to cease. For a man to take the crystals out of him, for someone to stop hurting him.

Fjord hadn’t really known what happened to Caleb and he hadn’t felt the need to pry. Whatever it was, he’d always felt assured that the wizard would tell him one day in his own time. Now, however, he wasn’t so sure. Their timid wizard, who was squishy, awkward, and yes, even endearing in an asshole sort of way had gone through some serious shit.

And Fjord wasn’t so sure how much Caleb was going to be able to keep from them much longer. He felt a twist of guilt that his secrets were at least partially aired in this way, but it couldn’t be helped. At least not at the moment.

And then Caduceus arrived, a cup in one hand and heavy bags under his eyes. He hurried over as he saw their predicament. His gentle brow softened as his eyes wandered over the five of them, all weary and tired and worried. Nott with tears streaming down her face, ones that she’d desperately tried to hide, Jester, unusually silent and still, eyes hollow, and Beau with her tired mask, only grim and resigned now in the face of her friend's suffering.

Fjord didn’t know what Caduceus saw on his face, but whatever it was it made the firbolg soften with sympathy, "I’ve consulted with nature and with the Wildmother. I think I know of a spell that might help."

They all started, looking up at him. Jester blinked, "Really? You did? I tried prayer of healing the first time though! And then just an hour ago or something I tried healing word and cure wounds and mass healing word and then I even tried spare the dying because I had run out of spells but even that didn’t work!"

Caduceus smiled, "It’s not your fault, my dear. I believe you would have come upon the right spell eventually if you had not been tapped." He knelt and gently rested a hand on Caleb's hot forehead, the other on his chest, above his heart.

Caduceus closed his eyes and they watched, transfixed as plant growth almost seemed to curl for a moment around his sweat soaked hair, and then it was gone, melting away in a pink and green glow. Caleb  _relaxed._

The tension in Caleb's shoulders lifted, his eyes stopped moving from behind their lids, and his breath sighed out once, soft and almost peaceful. The relief in their camp was almost palpable.

Nott seemed to choke on a sob as she cradled Caleb's head in her lap and between her hands before she spoke, voice cracking, "Thank you Caduceus."

Caduceus smiled, warm and soft, "It was my pleasure, little one."

* * *

Caleb opened his eyes, and for a single terrifying moment, as he stared up at a blue sky and white clouds, he had no idea what time it was or where he was.

And then, beside him, something shifted and he looked, warily, poised for flight. Beside him lay Nott, curled around his side, head resting on his shoulder. All at once the tension left him and he exhaled the breath he’d been holding. If Nott was here, sleeping, then all was well. Even if he was still worried about why couldn’t remember anything. 

A moment later the gears in his head finally moved and he estimated that it was about one thirty in the afternoon. Another second, full of jumbled flashes of color and sound from last night and the horrible remembrance of the sensation of vomiting and he realized he had been sick. The fever must have broken. And then his mind supplied that it was one thirty-two and exactly forty seconds in the afternoon.

His half panicked breaths slowly calmed as he counted the seconds in his head. When he was sure that he had relaxed himself he turned his head, and this time he was more confused than anything else. Jester lay on his other side, snoring softly, deep bags under eyes and an ink stained hand entangled in his shirt, the other cradling her notebook to her chest.

Across from Jester, drooling, and using his own legs as a pillow was Beau. A blanket had been thrown over her sometime during the night and it had tangled around her legs. Caduceus's gear was propped up on a nearby tree along with his bedroll, but it seemed that Jester had dragged him over to sleep next to her, his long pink hair mingling with the grass, which was noticeably taller and dotted with more flowers and fungus than the rest of the clearing.

He wondered where Fjord was, for a moment, until he felt his head rise and fall almost as smoothly as breathing and he realized that he was using Fjord as a pillow.

Caleb shifted, hoping that somehow he would be able to extricate himself from the pile without anyone noticing. He moved slightly, and froze as Nott mumbled sleepily, "Just five more minutes, Caleb.”

He whispered, "Rest all you want, liebling. I’ll be right back." He moved upwards again before he saw Nott's eyes fly open, "Wait, Caleb?!"

And there went his hope for a quick and quiet escape. Nott shot up with him, hands reaching his face excitedly, Beau scrabbled for her stick, still half asleep. Jester shouted something about unicorns and shot a sacred flame into the sky as she sat up. He heard Fjord scrambling to his feet beside him, falchion in hand. Caduceus was the only one who roused quietly, opening one dark liquid eye, and seeing him and the others awake, smiled and sat up slowly, "Good morning, Mister Caleb. How was your sleep?"

Fjord looked down, "Caleb you’re awake!" 

Jester gasped, utterly delighted as she echoed Fjord, " _Caleb!_ _You're_ _awake!_ "

Beau blinked and then she moved, taking his chin in her hand and turning his head, "He looks totally fine!" 

Caleb slapped at her hand weakly, the contact startling him, "What are you doing? Let go of me." 

Jester sighed happily at his feeble irritated protests, "There you are, Caleb. We were all super worried!"

Nott pushed Beau's hands away halfheartedly, only to take Caleb's face in her hands herself. Caleb sighed heavily as Nott frowned, "You don’t seem as hot as before. Caduceus maybe you should cast that spell again, just one more time to be sure!"

"I’m fine, Nott, I’m alright. I don’t see what all the fuss is about-“ and he really didn’t. For what he could remember he’d been sick and now he was well again. Surely that meant they were very tired of fussing over him? 

Jester's eyes narrowed, "Oh  _this_ again. Are you still sick you big baby? Shut up and let us take care of you." She leaned over and lightly pushed him over. Caleb flopped onto the ground with a loud 'oof' as Nott leaned over him, pointing at him with a small smile on her face, "And stay down!" 

The smile made him obey. Nott looked... happy. Drained, but happy. And he really didn’t want to spoil that for her. 

Fjord knelt, the falchion disappearing again with a flick of his wrist as he gestured slightly towards the wizard, who lay on the ground, eyes wide, "Caduceus, do you want to come check?"

Jester flopped forward onto Caleb's legs, "Don’t try to get up again, Caleb. I will totally win." She flexed one of her biceps, which might’ve been impressive if Beau hadn’t knelt down beside her and obscured her from view, "Yeah I wouldn’t try it. I’ve gotten really good at stunning the shit out of you, and it’ll really fucking suck if you make me do it again." 

He had a vague recollection of Beau hitting him and he frowned as he tried to piece together what that memory meant. 

"Aw, Beau! That’s so sweet!"

Beau glared at Jester, "It’ll suck for  _him_ not me." 

It was clear none of them believed her, but Fjord hushed Jester's delighted smirk, shaking his head slightly. Best to let Beau win this one. 

Caleb's brow furrowed, "You... hit me?" 

Beau was immediately defensive, "I wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t punched Nott in the nose! Or if you hadn’t tired to fire bolt us!" 

He swallowed at this, the danger and havoc he could’ve caused weighing on him. He nodded gravely, still and solemn, "It was good you did that then. Better me than Nott and the rest of you." 

Beau nodded and then looked taken aback, as if she hadn’t expected him to agree with her. She opened her mouth to say something, but by then their cleric had arrived. 

Caduceus knelt, pressing a hand to Caleb's forehead, a pink and green glow spilling out from between his fingertips. No moss or lichen covered him this time and Caleb merely blinked in the aftermath. Caduceus nodded and stood again, "He's well." 

Caleb pushed himself up, not wanting to be in such a vulnerable position, "I don’t see what the big deal is anyway." 

Nott gaped, as if it were obvious, piling into his lap as soon as he was upright, "You almost died Caleb! We’ve got to keep you safe!" 

Fjord added in agreement, a hand clapping onto his shoulder, "I only thought that we were supposed to worry about you being squishy on the battlefield, Caleb, not all the time."

Beau snorted, bumping his shoulder with her fist in a far gentler manner than she’d ever touched him before, "Yeah man. You should’ve told us you were squishy all the time." 

Jester nodded her head vigorously, still kneeling next to him, and took his hand, her skirts splayed across the warm grass and soft morning dew, "Don't worry about it, Caleb, we'll just look out for you super extra hard from now on." 

Caleb's cheeks flushed red, "Ah, j- ja, danke...?"

Nott curled tighter around him and, as the Mighty Nein stood or sat in varying degrees of exhaustion around him, all happier than they’d been in weeks, Caleb couldn’t help but feel that unfamiliar warmth he'd started to become accustomed to again, that strange feeling that he was pretty sure was called love. 

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is here: https://ford-ye-fiji.tumblr.com/


End file.
